A Little Wisdom Gained

This morning I did a personal reading for myself which I usually do each week. What I learned was a little bit of personal wisdom.

You see I am stuck and because I am personally stuck, I am getting frustrated with myself.

Like billions of other people, I made a few New Years resolutions and I felt I was ready for the challenge. One being to get healthy and lose weight and the other is to find a new passion that I can immerse myself into whole heartedly but by mid week last week I began to feel bogged down. The success of the first weeks of the year slowed even though my intentions and willpower remained strong.

This morning I awoke feeling bloated and my mind void of ideas. The progress train had come to a complete halt and I felt a need for some external insight seeing as mine has abandoned me, so I reached for my cards.

In the past, when I needed clarity, my personal readings gave me what I really need to know, that being the hard truth. At that point my choice is what to do with these revelations. I will be honest here, sometimes I choose complete denial, I choose self pity and I pout. Sometimes I just don’t get it and the message repeats itself in subsequent readings until I lumber through the issues the hard way and sometimes, like today, I really get it and the insight offered to me from the universe via my cards hits home and I gain a little self knowledge and wisdom.

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Here is essentially what the cards told me:

Restriction- (this card came up three separate times in the reading) the universe is blocking me at this moment in order to give me time to regroup and come at my life from the right perspective by asking the right questions: How did I get here? What am I not seeing? What needs changing?

Truth- Am I being honest with myself? Is my motives coming from my heart or my ego? Am I willing to seek out the real truth?

Letting Go- Why is it so important that I control the outcome? Only when I have faith and open myself to the mysteries of life will I move forward with my goals.

Okay this is the abbreviated version of the reading but these three insights are the main and most important points. So here is what I learned about myself and if you are stuck in a moment and get out of it maybe this message is for you too.

If you come at a problem time and again from the same perspective you will continually hit the same walls your subconscious put up in order for you to cope with the problem in the first place. Remember the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. The message: climb over a few of those walls so I can see other alternatives then be open to the new choices.

What am I not being truthful to myself about? This is a hard message to hear because it means I am deluding myself and not being honest about my motivations and at its very essence of this truth I also have to ask myself what am I afraid of and why. Is it fear of success of these goals or fear of failure of these goals that has me blocked?

Finally, the last question I need to ask myself; Is the frustration I am currently feeling really my inability to have total control of the situation? I think I know the answer to this one. The real question is why? My real responsibility here was to come up with the goal, put it out there in the universe then, go about my business working towards it and let go of trying to control the outcome. As it is now I am actually restricting my choice of possibilities by having a narrow perception of the outcome.

What I really need to do this week is be truthful with myself about my real motives, let the frustration and worry go and have a little faith in myself and let go of the control. When the answers come, the blockage will fade away and I can move forward again. Who knows, maybe the universe has an even easier way of achieving my New Years goals and being stuck this week is just it’s way of giving me another chance to get it right because what  the universe really wants is for me to be successful. I can live with that.