Hindsight: I Can See Clearly Now

I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed and I may take a while to understand all the messages that the universe sends to me, but when I do, my life takes a big step forward on it’s path.

Last August I made a commitment to step up my web presence by updating my blog and offering online readings. I felt so sure this was the next step in my life. I was going to be the next big spiritual leader. Okay, well maybe just in my mind at any rate.

Fast forward to today. Do you see a new and improved website and blog? Is my schedule crammed packed with on-line readings? Nope, and now I know the reason why.

I spent the last couple of months beating myself up over this. I compared myself and my efforts to other people who have successful websites and great products to sell. How could I compete with these amazing people? What unique perspective could I offer? I berated myself for being frozen in fear and unable to move forward and I doubted my own abilities. I had no other reason but being chicken shit for my failure to this commitment, or so I thought.

I make a point to do a personal reading for myself weekly. I usually ask the question, “What is it that I need to know moving forward this week?” Through out the last couple of months I have been regularly getting the message to not act impulsive, to be humble, to be aware of my wounded ego, to be aware of my inner motivations. Not exactly the advice I wanted to hear but exactly what I needed to know.

I’ll let you in on a secret. I’m not a competitive person. I love praise same as the next person but I get completely stressed when I have to “show up” in the big arena. I am a person to person sort of gal who loves nothing better than to make a one on one connection with another soul. I love to help people a few at a time. I was attempting to jump into an arena that is totally wrong for me.

I’ve been on this road before and believe me, it doesn’t end well. I’m not meant for the high pressure, self promoting, buy my program world. But my ego is a sly bitch, she wants to be seen, she wants control and so, even though I had learned this lesson before, my ego was determined to slink in a side door and get her way. Not this time.

The light bulb moment came in the form of a You Tube video by Sera Beak.

If you have the time, give it a watch. But I’ll just say that Sera Beak made me realize that I would not be using my true, unique voice if I continued to pursue this path. Being in the big arena is not for me. Offering my unique points of view and wisdoms to individuals and being an intimate part of another soul’s journey is.

It became so clear to me. That’s why I froze, not in fear but in wisdom. My soul finally has the knowledge and the tools to fight back. The universe was acting in my favor. Karma was on my side.

We’ve all done it. We make decisions based on what we feel we should be doing, what society has programmed us to believe is the logical next steps. We get caught up into the hype. Just because a person has a talent or a useful skill does not mean they need to exploit it in the public arena.

Not all gifts are meant for the masses. Some are meant for a choice circle of a few. If I am meant to be in the big arena, it has to happen organically in a grassroots sort of way. One person helped at a time. For me, that is the only way I can let my own unique voice be heard above the crowd.

Looking back, in hindsight over the last few months, I now see clearly the signs and messages that were being offered up to me as guideposts on my personal path. It has given me a little leap of wisdom and a clearer map for the journey ahead.

Think about this the next time you are stuck. Is it fear that is holding you back or is the universe working in your favour by giving you enough time to hear the true voice of your soul.

Friends don’t let friends learn to use their true voice alone. Please share this post and nurture another soul.