Crone – the wise old woman, the healer.
In the Celtic tradition of the three aspect of a woman’s life, or the triple Goddess, we see them as the maiden – the innocent child or youthful woman, the mother – the nurturer and the crone – the wise old woman. In some cultural traditions, women become crones when they reach the age of 50 and in others it’s when she enters menopause. Today, a woman becomes a crone when she dammed well feels she is.
I thought I might give you some clues that you may be heading in the crone direction of life so that when you see the signs you can ready yourself to embrace the most empowering part of your life.
But before I do, let me assure you that a crone is not a haggard, shrivelled up old woman. The crone has been given a bad rap in the past but times, they are a changing. For one, woman are living longer and in better health. The average age of life expectancy in Canada (other countries vary) is 80 years so your crone years, could in reality, be the longest part of your life. Even 50 years ago, which was 1970 by the way, we only averaged 72 years as our life expectancy. Today, women are living longer, we are better educated and we have more resources at our disposal to live a fuller, happier life. It’s time for the mature women of the world to fully embrace the senior years of their lives. Youth may still rule this modern culture but age and wisdom will always win out in the end.
The invisible woman
One of the first and earliest signs that you are moving towards your crone years is when you become invisible to society. This can be a big hit to the ego as a lot of women identify themselves by their outward appearance.
I remember with perfect clarity the first time I was walking out in public and noticed that men, both young and old were looking right past me. No longer being noticed for my looks, no longer capturing the appreciative eye of the opposite sex as they passed by me, I had become invisible.
Unless you are blessed with exceptional genes, there will come a time when you too will become invisible in the world. You will notice that flirting no longer achieves the results it once did. Your outward appearance begins to loose it’s power to attract, charm and beguile. If you are at all insecure, the loss of your outer allure can be devastating.
Sadly, we all age but in order to grow to the next stage of your life, you must evolve from your superficial, outer identity and create a new kind of beauty, one of confidence, power and inner knowing. Developed right, you can free yourself from societal expectations of how you should look and begin the transition into complete self acceptance of who you really are.
Your bullshit meter goes way up
Clarity and truth become superpowers and you begin to see through the crap people and society tries to feed you much easier. This might bring on emotions of frustration and anger. Emotions needed to motivate you to break free of the restrictions that life has saddled you with so you can begin to form your own opinions based on what you believe to be true. Words like “bitchy” may be whispered behind you back but you find that you just don’t care. In fact, you begin to care less and less what other people think and you may even tell them as much.
You become selfish
The mother archetype tends to be selfless. She’ll put the needs of the people and things she cares about ahead of her own needs. Her drive is to nurture even at the expense of her own fulfillment. But clarity and truth demands action and so the emerging crone in her may start to stick up for herself a little more.
As you progress towards becoming a crone, instead of being self – less you start to become self – ish. When you realize that you have fulfilled all the requirements of what society has expected from you; you were the good child, student, girlfriend, lover, wife, mother, employee etc., it is time to ask the most important question that you may ever ask yourself. What is it that I want out of life?
The search begins
This one question opens a Pandora’s box of possibilities and you may find yourself questioning a lot about your life. What do I really believe in? What would I like to do with my free time? Do I want to stay in this career, this marriage? Who do I want to be?
And so the soul’s search for answers begins. Some refer to this searching as a mid-life crisis. I prefer to look at this search as an apprenticeship for the new and improved woman that you are in the process of becoming. The key here is to remember to stay open and curious to the choices and possibilities that are out there for your life.
Intuition – your real superpower
Woman are intuitive beings. As mothers we are known to have eyes in the back of our heads but as we get older and we have less outer responsibilities to clutter our thoughts, our intuition really begins to ramps up.
We are becoming self-ish and beginning to get to know ourselves once again, maybe even for the first time. We are exploring our likes, our passions and hopefully, we are following our curiosity. We are relying on our gut instincts and using our intuition, our inner voice as our guide.
You may find that you become more introverted and relish quiet time more. You may find that you prefer your own company and find peace with the thoughts in your head. You may find that you prefer your own counsel over that of others when making decisions because it just feels right. This is your intuition working and the more you use it, the stronger it becomes.
When you rely on your own intuition more than the opinions and expectations of others an amazing thing happens. You begin to truly stand in your own power and become the most authentic version of yourself. This is confidence and the reason this blog is called Crone Confidence. This is you expressing your beauty from within. People begin to notice you once again because you shine with a kind of power that attracts others to you.
The choice is yours now as to whether you want to remain invisible to the outer world and quietly shine your light to a select group or whether you want to stand in this power and show the world who you really are. It is at this time that many women take on a new passion or project. One that reflects the answers to the all the questions, all the searching and all the growth that has occurred during the transformation from mother to crone.
The apprentice has become the master. A crone takes everything that she has learned over her lifetime – all her experiences, her loves, her losses, her triumphs and her failures and synergizes them into her own unique wisdom. But it is not enough to be intuitive, confident and knowledgeable, the truly wise crone understands that she has a new role in life. That of the mentor. For what good is all that knowledge and wisdom if nobody else learns from it.
You see, one does not only become a crone because the maiden and the mother aspects of her life will always be inside of her as well. To be a crone is to manifest the best aspects of all three.
Crone is just a title. So is grandmother, matriarch, senior and old lady. They are just terms to describe a time in our life. The more important consideration is what this particular time represents to the individual.
You can dawdle off to your sunset years and retire into a life of quiet and peace and it’s nobodies business but yours if you do. Or you can evolve into the third act of your life and squeeze out every last drop of it as the grand being you have the potential to become.
And isn’t that why we chose to incarnate into human beings in the first place, to experience all that this human existence has to offer? So doesn’t it make sense that if we are constantly growing and evolving in life that we would come to a point of critical mass where we are at a level to take all that we have learned and manifest ourselves into a version that not only continues the learning process but freely offers the unique wisdom of our experiences to those evolving behind us.
That is the essence of the crone. Is she in you? Do you feel her awakening – becoming? Are you beginning to see the signs?