Last week I boosted a meme on my Crone Confidence Facebook account to promote the fact that I offer Intuitive Tarot Card Readings. Within minutes a man left a rude comment on the post. I replied that he was entitled to his opinion but I didn’t agree with it. He mocked me with a series of unkind memes in reply.
Now I’m a big girl, and I get that tarot card readings aren’t for everyone, but I had to wonder what possessed this man to spend all this energy on trying to intimidate me, a total stranger. What sort of superiority game did he think he was playing?
The world is rampant with people just like that guy. Normal, everyday folk who have lost all forms of politeness filters and can’t help but feel entitled to spew vitriol at other normal, everyday folk. Don’t even get me started on the ones who publicly hate on celebrities and politicians. That’s a different blog post for another time.
So I thought I would offer you a few helpful tips that may help you navigate this harsh new society we seem to have found ourselves in currently, and help you understand why kindness is needed more than ever in the world right now.
There are only two categories of emotions that human beings operate from – one is love and the other is fear. All other emotions will fit into one of these two groups.
To demonstrate my point, let’s look at a few negative emotions first. When we’re angry for example, there is a underlying fear that we have lost a level of our personal power because someone, or something, has made us enraged, resentful, or offended. In response, we will defend our position, by lashing out in anger.
Same goes for jealousy and greed. That person has what we want, or has more than us, and so there is a level of subconscious fear that we are not enough, or that we’ll never be able to acquire our “fair share”.
But when we are happy or content, we are living in the emotional category of love. Our hearts expand and the small annoyances of life slip off us like our bodies are coated in Teflon.
All emotions vibrate out a form of energy. Love emotions are high vibrating and raise our own personal energies which makes us feel vibrant and alive. Fear emotions are low vibrating and suck the life force out of us leaving us drained, depressed and lifeless. Kindness is in the love category and as such, it vibrates high and fills our personal energy well.
Perhaps you were taught the lesson as a child that when someone wrongs you, to turn the other cheek, or that two wrongs don’t make a right. These two lessons teach us that kindness is the antidote to hate. It seems that we as a whole have forgotten these simple wisdoms, but life is not so simple anymore. So here are a couple of tips to help you navigate with decency in this modern, technologically connected world, and become a kindness warrior.
3 things to stop doing right now.
- Use discernment when watching the news or stop watching it all together. In the race for viewership, the headlines for news stories have become more and more sensational in order to draw us in. The old newsroom adage, “If it bleeds, it leads.” has never been more true as media outlets compete in a 24/7, all access, world theatre. We are bombarded with constant doom and gloom and in turn, our internal fear meters are off the charts. We feel powerless, suspicious of others, and have lost our internal sense of moral judgement and we make assumptions that are not based on facts. If you have ever found yourself yelling at your screen when, yet again another story has sent you into a tailspin of angst or anger, you will know this to be true. Choosing to limit your personal access to this kind of media is a personal kindness to your soul and will probably lower your blood pressure to boot.
- Stop Gossiping . No one likes to be talked about in silicious ways, yet we rarely stop to think how repeating a story about someone else actually effects our own energy. Gossip is a low vibrating energy that keeps you swimming in the sludge of fear. We engage in gossip to boost our own ego and think that when we talk about others, we are deflecting any negative attention away from ourselves. “Look at what they did, tsk, tsk.” implies a superiority complex based on competition and fear. Gossip is a passive form of bullying because it attacks a person’s integrity with no way to defend themselves.
- Stop using negative words. To be a kinder person, use kinder words both on yourself and with others. Words have energy as well. Of course there are the obvious words that are derogatory, racist, or hateful that we should never use but there are also other deceptively low vibrating words that block love energy as well. Words like – can’t, never, always, yes but, even the word, problem; or any other word, for that matter, that infers an absolute position. For example – I can’t see how that will ever change., I’ll never do it like you want me to., I always avoid that area of town., Yes, I could try that but, it probably won’t work., You know what your problem is? Want to use better words, read the dictionary and learn new, more positively charged one. Change your words, and you will change your life.
3 things to start doing to add more kindness in your life right now
- Practice Gratitude. Gratitude is love in action. When you are thankful for the people and things that surround your life, showing gratitude is a blessing for both you, and for the things you are grateful for. We say thank you when we receive a gift and we feel our heart expanding with love and appreciation. If we make a daily practice to find things to be grateful for, the magnetic energy field of our heart begins to stay in an expanded state which attracts even more things to be grateful for. Like attracts like, so if you want more love in your life, find more things to love and express gratitude for them.
- Practice Empathy. When we are afraid of others who are different than us, whether that be a social, economic, cultural or religious disparity, it helps if you walk an mile in their shoes for a little while. All humans want the same things – security, love and belonging. How would you feel if you where in their situation and they were the ones afraid of you? Now ask yourself this, what would love do? Kindness comes when you can see past the outer entrapments of the situation and see the human being before you instead.
- Kindness in action. One of my favorite games that I like to play out in public is what I call, “The Smile Game.” As a person approaches me on a sidewalk or an aisle in a store, I look at them until they look my way and then I smile. I get a kick out of their reactions. Most smile back, some say hello, some get flustered as they come out of the thought trance they were just in, but few look away without returning a smile back at me. A smile is a small, simple kindness. It says, I see you and I acknowledge your existence. Kindness in action is creating connection, and humans are hardwired for connection, it’s in our DNA and it can be a simple as a passing smile.
Folks who choose to be kind, who filter their reactions with love to the people and situations around them, also radiate love. You’ve experienced folks like this around you before, they almost glow, and we are inexplicably drawn to them like moths to a flame.
Now imagine yourself as a beacon of light, radiating kindness and attracting kindness back in return. And what if more and more people did this? Imagine how the world around us would have to change to reflect this new positive energy. Remember, dark can not exist where there is light.
It’s as simple as that folks, if we want to live in a kinder world, one that no longer operates from the outdated model of fear and hate, then we need to apply enough compassion, empathy and especially kindness to negate these lower energies and create a strong vibration of love to permeate even the most remote corners of the earth.
Here’s the thing, we can protest and fight, we can insist on our right to a peaceful existence, we can call for change and demand our leadership to take action, but all we are really doing is engaging our personal fears to fight even bigger fears. Kind of like doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different outcome. Isn’t that the definition of insanity?
Kindness, compassion, empathy and choosing to turn the other cheek our acts of high vibrational love energy, try it for yourself and see if your life doesn’t improve for the better. Then when you know it to be true, start practicing on others, because that’s all the world needs.