Change is the one constant in our lives. Even if you do nothing different in your daily routine every day of your life, the world around you will continue to change.
Some embrace change with excitement and others dread change. What matters is your outlook, your perception of the world around you. A balanced perception of your daily experiences will enhance your ability to handle change in your life.
Life is full of events that shape our lives. Some are unexpected, we don’t always have control over the events in our lives, but we always have control of our reactions to them.
When we blame others, You give up your power to change.
It is easy to play the blame game when something negative happens to us. “It’s not my fault”, ” You did this to me”, “Hey, I’m the victim here!”, are all statement that hold you in the past where you will be unable to rise above the situation so you can see how to move forward.
Ok, so it wasn’t your fault, you were the victim, through someone else’s action a terrible thing happened to you. When you choose to shift your perception of the circumstance to one of neutrality and get past blaming, the situation becomes clearer and your ability to formulate a new path forward emerges. Even though you had no control over what happened, removing blame from the issue empowers you to overcome the adversity.
The same goes for positive events that happen in your life. In these cases there is no blame needed, you are probably filled with excitement, happiness, and joy, but here too your perception of the situation will determine the final outcome.
It’s the most unhappy people who most fear change.
People who perceive themselves as unlucky, not deserving, or unworthy of success will unconsciously sabotage good fortune. It is a self judgement that is cemented in the past, hell bent on ruining your future with whispered messages aimed at holding you back. “Who do you think you are?”, “You can’t handle this”, “There must be some mistake, nothing good ever happens to me”, again those are past self prejudices, they have no bearing in the present, but if that is your perceptions of your life, then a new paradigm is required in order to truly enjoy any new success.
Have you ever got so excited about an upcoming event like a party or a trip that the actual event couldn’t measure up to the grand expectations you created in your mind. This is another example of perceptions not being inline with reality. There is nothing wrong with anticipating a special event, but by placing unrealistic hopes on the outcome, you rob yourself of the joys that come from the serendipitous unfolding of the adventure.
Narrow perceptions of life hold us back and force us to resist change. It takes a lot of energy to hold grudges, or have unrealistic expectations of yourself and others.
Think of life as a river, flowing gently at times, and at other times raging and full of rapids, and you are a boat floating upon it. When you let your boat go with the flow of the river you will experience no resistance and travelling is easy. Even when shooting the rapids, where skill is required, your boat still moves in the downstream direction.
Now image trying to hold your boat in one place on the river. You have to continually paddle just to maintain that position. It takes a lot of work to remain stationary, while the river of life is constantly pushing at you to keep moving downstream.
When you change your perceptions of life to a neutral position, meaning that you are not making a judgement on a situation but rather letting it unfold naturally while experiencing all the feelings that come with it, that is like removing your oars from the water so the river can turn you around, and naturally point you down stream. There will still fast moving water and even rapids to travel through but at least you are moving again in the right direction.
When you finally reach a calm cove on the river of life, paddle to the shore take a rest and recover. Before it is time to get back on the river life, have a look upstream and see where you have just been, then look downstream to where you are going next so you can gain a new perspective for your life.
The next time change happens in your life, consciously choose a neutral perspective towards the event first and give yourself time to gather all the facts and to let all the feelings surrounding the issue flow through you before you choose an opinion on the situation. Objectivity allows you to remove your ego from the equation, so you can form the right perspective for the issue at hand. You will flow with greater ease on the river of life the next time you sail through a current of change.