When my hubby is feeling particularly rebellious about some honeydew project I have decreed upon him, he will stand defiantly and say to me, “You’re not the boss of me.” To which I retort back, “Yes I am.”
All kidding aside folks, as much as I’d like to fantasize that I am the boss of him – I am not. And he’s not the boss of me either. I am the boss of me.
This thought came into my head the other day and I took some time to follow the thread to see where it would take me. Along this neural pathway a couple of questions popped up that needed to be answered in order for me to progress further.
If I am the boss of me, why do I let others dictate my life by allowing their choices to supersede mine?
Well I know the answer to this. It’s because of my people pleasing tendencies. But it’s also due to my cultural upbringing. As I child I was taught to play nice, to not be bossy and keep my opinions to myself. After all, children are meant to be seen, not heard, or so I was told.
So if I am the boss of me and only I have the right to rule my little world regardless of how I have been previously conditioned to act, how do I want to rule my kingdom of one?
Now the possibilities started to flow and my thought threads branched off into a web of ideas. Because if you allow yourself that one truth, that only you are in control of your life, then in essence, you have mastered adulthood.
It’s not like when you were a kid and you thought to yourself, when I have my own place I’m going to go to bed whenever I want and I will eat Cap’n Crunch cereal every morning for breakfast. Being the boss of yourself means that as the true and only leader of your little kingdom of one, you have to make the hard decisions, as well as the easy ones in order to see your little empire flourish.
So I opened myself to the idea of being the only one responsible for my life. Now before you get all in my face about the responsibilities of loved ones and being part of a family and that their wellbeing is paramount to you own dreams. Let me back this up a bit.
Being the boss of yourself means that you are in charge of your thoughts and emotions. That only you are in control of your reactions to external forces.
“Our only limitations are those we set up in our own minds”
When we understand that we are the only one limiting our life, regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in, we are then able to design a life that we are truly the boss of.
My thought thread finally arrived at the conclusion, that I alone have the power to create my personal kingdom while I walk this earth and it begins with an open attitude. Instead of thinking that I am a victim of my cultural circumstances, I need to start thinking about how I can rule within the borders of my domain. To rule within before I lead on the outside.
This body I inhabit is my empire and only I am the boss of it. No matter what happens outside of it, or no matter what happens to me physically, I still have complete command of the thoughts, emotions and the beliefs that make up the essence of me.
What a freeing revelation. Imagine where I can take this mobile kingdom, what I can create through it or how I can influence others by leading by example. Because when you understand what it truly means to be the boss of yourself and then go about being the best leader you can be to yourself, you will have also become the best kind of leader for others to follow.
You have to influence yourself before you can influence others.
Feel free to comment and continue the conversation.