Choosing Yourself


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I recently listened to a podcast by Cathy Heller of Don’t Keep Your Day Job  where she had Tarzan Kay on as her guest. I had never heard of Tarzan before but found her a great big ball of energy and practical online marketing wisdom. But that’s not what this post is about. What this post is about is something Tarzan said at the beginning of the podcast.

Cathy Heller and Tarzan Kay were talking about self confidence and how to be successful and play in the big pool of life.

“You need to show up like a rock star. You need to take your seat at the table of life and don’t apologize for doing so.” they asserted.

All good advice, but then Tarzan said something that got me thinking. She said that to be a success, you need to choose yourself.

What a powerful statement on a couple of levels. First the word choose implies that you have a choice. Huh, what a concept, of course we have a choice, and yet, and be honest here, how many times have you deferred that choice to others or used the choices or opinions of another as an excuse for not choosing one yourself? The word choose has big power and even in that power, you have a choice of using it or not.

Choose yourself can come across as a selfish act to someone who has always given their power away. Folks addicted to people pleasing may find the act of choosing their own self over another abhorrent. It goes against everything their ego does not want them to do or be. Choosing yourself can actually be of service to others in the most powerful of ways (see there’s the power thing again). When you choose yourself over others, you are filling your personal well of authenticity and self-confidence so when you do offer yourself in service to others, you do so completely whole. Think of it like running on a fully charged battery rather than a half charged one. Your personal energy is giving off a stronger and much more stable emotional current.

So choosing yourself is always a wise choice to make, but that’s not exactly what Tarzan Kay meant when she spoke those two words. What she meant is to decide on who you want to be and then really own it with every fiber of your being.

There is really big, law of attraction wisdom here.

Simply put, the law of attraction states that you will attract into your life whatever you focus on. So if you choose yourself, what you are focusing on is whatever you want to see in your life. If you defer your choices to others, than you are attracting to you what they want.

Think about that for a moment. Let’s say that you have this really big dream of becoming a fulltime artist. If you choose yourself, all the decisions you make will be filtered from the choice that you made to become an artist. By choosing yourself you will take actions in your life based on whether the decision helps or impedes your dream of being an artist or not. If you have a habit of letting other people’s choices effect your life, what are the odds that their preferences will always be slanted in your favour with your dream of becoming a professional artists paramount in the decision?

Choosing yourself sends a message to your unconscious mind to create a new default program in your brain. One that with practice, will over write old programming that was probably embedded there from allowing others to decide for you.

So let’s go back to the artist dream example. Once you choose yourself, which in this case it’s you choosing to become a full-time artist, your focus begins to center around that dream, your personal energy vibrations begin to match that dream, and guess what, the law of attraction starts to bring matching vibrational energy into your life that also align with the dream of becoming an artist. Soon synchronistic events start to happen. Opportunities to showcase your art come your way and before you know it, because you chose yourself, possibilities for an artist career start choosing you.

Choosing yourself is owning who you are and who you want to be and yes, it does require taking your seat at the table of life without apology. Because if you really want to be of service and contribute something of true value to others, then it has to be something from yourself that you choose, otherwise the role you may have unwittily chosen is that of someone else’s servant.

Published by Diana Frajman

Wisdom blogger who believes that the wise older woman is the most powerful brand females come in.

2 thoughts on “Choosing Yourself

  1. hi Diana, thanks so much for this

    it resonates strongly with my own self-discovery and gives me perspectives via your beautiful wording that clarify my thoughts (and give reasons/meaning to them that i hadn’t thought of

    what a gift 🙂

    gratefully yours,

    1. Thank you Emma for your kind words. I am happy that you found insight in my words just as I found insight in Tarzan Kay’s words. I’m sure that your blog offers insight for others as well. That, in my opinion is how wisdom today can be shared.
      Blessings to you,

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