I’ve been spending a huge amount of time updating my website in the last month. Feel free to have a look around.
It’s partly creative and a labour of love, but mostly a work in progress. It took a long time to start the project and one of the reasons was a lack of congruency with my thoughts and my actions. I needed to examine what I was trying to achieve with this site and with my coaching, mentoring and tarot reading business and then bring it together in a coherent package that represented the authentic me to present to the world.
In marketing speak, I needed to determine what my personal brand is.
I have always said that the toughest question you will ever ask yourself is, “What is it that I really want out of my life?” For empathic, people pleasing folks like myself, the first thought that usually comes up is, “What will other’s think?” Followed closely by, “How will they react to what I’m trying to do?”
Now over the years I have gotten wise to these two saboteuring questions. It’s only my ego attempting to keep the status quo in my life and doubt is one of it’s favourite tactics. But in reality, that doubt is a form of incongruency because thoughts surrounded by fear are not in alignment with the souls desire to expand.
To be in congruence in life is to have your inner and outer worlds in alignment. Or in other words, the actions that you outwardly take, should reflect how you think and feel inside yourself.
Although we may actively choose to ignore it, we all know when we are living incongruently. It’s when your feelings don’t match your actions. Fear, anger and guilt are the big daddy emotions of incongruence followed by self loathing.
Do you hate your job? Are you afraid to leave it? Do you indulge in destructive behaviors to compensate, leaving you feeling bad about yourself? This is just one example of how incongruence may be effecting your life..
So how do you create alignment between your inner and outer worlds? Well the first thing you need to understand is your soul’s needs. To do that, you need to develop a relationship with your soul by learning and honoring your emotional responses to outside stimuli. If something makes you feel uncomfortable, there is a reason for it. Your soul, by way of your intuition, is telling you that this situation is not for you. Alternately, if it feels right within you, the situation is congruent within and probably without as well.
The congruency theme has been buzzing around me in every action I wanted to take this spring. It wasn’t just my website and business practices but with my personal life as well. The question kept coming up, “How do I want to live my life?” and in order to update my website and to have it resonate as authentic, I realized that my whole life needed to be congruent. Or to put it simply, if I talked the talk, I had to walk the walk.
I had to decide what my personal message is and then go about communicating it in such a way that it painted a picture in the readers head of who I am and what I believe in, but the most important part is, I needed to ensure that I was actually living those beliefs. I need to be congruent inside and out.
Life is a work in progress. One that is never finished. We learn, we grow, we adjust. Sometimes we get off path and for a time are crashing about in the wilderness until we can get to high enough ground to see the vista ahead where we can move forward to a new path.
Sometimes, the path we are on is well grooved from those who travelled before us and we become stuck in the tracks of life.
No matter where we are in life, if we remain congruent with our life essence, the spark of what we truly are, we are more apt to find a way to make our own path. One that is the most authentic reflection of our soul’s desire.