I’m not a vain women. Really, I’m not, but I am still a women after all and won’t pass up a complimenting gaze or the approving smile from the other half of our species. So it was dis-concerting to realize around my mid-forties that I was becoming invisible.
I have become non-descriptive. In fact, I’m willing to bet that if I committed a crime and a witness was asked to give a description of me, they would answer in generic terms. ” She was middle aged, average height, pudgy, glasses, mousy brown hair and eyes.” The summary of millions of 50ish women out there frequenting the malls of north America. The perfect disguise.
Becoming an invisible women as I settle into middle age does have it’s advantages. I am no longer required to keep up with the trends and fashions.
Just last week I purchased new eye glasses. There was a time when I went for the fashionable frames to distinguish my self from the crowd. Now, it is all about comfort, practicality and lenses large enough to accommodate my bi-focal prescription!
Being invisible affords me the ability to focus on the things that matter most to me. I don’t have to perform and be what society expects from the visible ones. I can go about my business hidden in plain sight and get on with my life.
It’s my opinions and experiences that get me noticed now. Not whether I have the right look. That is a very freeing side affect of being unseen.
Don’t get me wrong, there are times that being invisible in society is annoying. Being inconspicuous can get you ignored. Sometimes, in order to get service I am forced to speak up and hold firm in line. It is no wonder young people think old folks are grumpy.
I think as we age, we can evolve to a higher level and choose when we want to be visible.
Maybe I will develop a reverse cloaking device for invisible women. When engaged, it would create a glow around us so we shine and the visible people of the world would be in awe of our presence, but when we want to resume our invisibility, we need only to flip a switch and resume our inconspicuous lives.
But really, we invisible older ladies do have the ability to shine and awe the visible folk, just in a different way.
A person who looses one of their senses like sight or hearing, will report that their other senses become stronger to accommodate for the lost sense.
As we age, our outer beauty may fade but our intuitive senses become more enhanced and our common sense develops into a brand of wisdom that is as unique as we are. If we develop these internal senses, we can indeed cloak ourselves in a power that is sure to get us noticed.
That’s why I like and use the title, Crone. The name Crone conjures up images of an older women who has great wisdom, a mystical aura of hidden knowledge veiled in a fine dusting of menace. Who are you more likely to notice and remember, an unassuming gray haired senior or a bad ass Crone.
I guess the reality is as we get older, if we want to remain visible in society, it’s not our appearance that will get us notice but our attitude. So cloak yourself in a powerful attitude and get out there and shine. The visible people will be in awe.