Our world is spinning faster and faster. What was new and improved yesterday is old and out dated today. Got the new iphone? Sorry, that’s last weeks model. What, your car doesn’t have a backup camera! How unfortunate. Are those skinny jeans you’re wearing? Haven’t clothes shopped this year have you.
It’s no wonder folks can’t commit to anything, when the very foundation of the modern world is built on a mercurial plane; ever changing, ever fickle.
So I decided to try and define a few of the commitment phobic personalities I see out there on the shifting sands of society. See if you can identify yourself with one of these.
Ever heard the phrase, “Jack of all trades, master of none” That would be a dabbler. This commitment-phobe loves to try her hand at everything but only long enough to get the concept and then her curiosity is satisfied. She will take a class on knitting one month and then dive into Hatha yoga the next.
The dabbler never really becomes truly proficient at anything but knows enough of the basics to feel comfortable conversing about her lasted interest with the pros. Until the next shiny preoccupation comes along that is.
Are you the guy who lines up the night before so you can be first in line to see the latest block buster movie? Are you already a regular at the newest nightclub or restaurant in town? Is your car the latest model? You might be a Racer.
Racers embrace the latest and greatest in society. They are part of the cutting edge crowd. Eager to try the current flavour of the week in technology and everything else that is hot in the market. They are trendy, savvy and love showing off their newest acquisitions.
How can they possibly make a commitment to anything when they know in their heart of hearts that a new and improved model will soon be hitting the shelves.
The Fence Sitter
“We’ll see.” “I’ll have to think about it.” ” I’m just looking.” Are these your go to phrases? Then you may be a Fence Sitter. Fence Sitter’s are afraid to make a commitment for fear of choosing wrong. So they just sit on the proverbial fence as life passes them by.
Buyers remorse is another trait of a Fence Sitter. Once they do make a decision and make a commitment on something, they will stew over their choice. Was it the right one? Did I research the decision enough?
Commitment for a Fence Sitter is just too emotionally gut wrenching. It’s better to just stay safely sitting on the fence and let folks like the Racers speed on by.
The No Show
The worst commitment-phobes are the No Shows. While the Dabbler’s flit from interest to interest and the Racer’s strive to be first and the Fence Sitter’s sit on the sidelines in indecision, the No Shows don’t even show up to the party.
If you don’t engage in the game of life in the first place you will not have to trouble yourself with the messiness of commitments.
No Shows are lone wolfs, they come across as aloof, detached, even hermit like. They can also come across as cavalier, putting people off with their sense of superiority. These are all protective shields to keep commitment eager folks at arms length.
No Shows get really uncomfortable with gooey PDA (public displays of affection) such as hand holding and hugging and may react with their body going as rigid as a 2 x 4 of hard wood when faced with a warm embrace.
Don’t even try to rely on a No Show. You will only be disappointed. And don’t take it personal either. No Shows are just hard wired to let you down because the mere act of showing up is in fact a commitment of sorts.
Which one are you?
Did you see yourself in one of these characters? Or maybe you see traits of all of these commitment-phobes in yourself. Don’t worry, there’s a little bit of all of these characters in every one of us and its no wonder, with the speed of our ever changing society how could we not develop commitment issues.
So give yourself a break. It’s okay to dabble, there’s so much to experience out there. Or maybe you need to sit this one out and watch the frenzy of the Racers for a time. When you finally make your decision you can always jump back on the speedway of life.
But I implore you to make the most important of all decisions, to not be a No Show. We only have one life, so in order to have a life well lived make the commitment to yourself to at least show up for it.
Commit to sharing your thoughts on this post and help continue the conversation.